I Don't Believe in Casual Fridays Because I Don't Believe in Formal Mondays
I don't believe in casual Fridays because I don't believe in formal Mondays- or judging a book by its cover.
Last week I was triggered. Not going to lie I was pretty heated up when I came across a comparison post that compared two women -one was wearing a short dress and the other, a longer black dress.
The post read something like the woman in the black dress came in to work on Saturdays and got promoted while the other woman was not.
Firstly, I wanted to write this post during a period in which I was more relaxed, and I am now. Although I will admit as I type this I can feel my heart rate increase a little bit, and the clanking of my keyboards indicate I am a little more hyped up than I was when I started this post.
I am also on coffee number 2, so the caffeine is kicking in which could undoubtedly have an effect on my heart rate, but pretty sure its the visceral experience I get when I see one woman judging the abilities of another based on her outfit.
The interesting part of all of this? I respect the creator of the post and I absolutely brought my concerns with her message to her, directly, and we discussed. I'm going to spare the details of our private conversation but I don't see a need to be private about the post since, well, it was a public post put on a public social media platform for all of the audience to see.
It got a lot of engagement too so it may have been casted to an even wider audience- which, I'm not sure is that good.
As a female entrepreneur, no, as a freaking woman I am constantly bombarded with society's judgement of my appearance. While someone may come up to me and tell me "you are so beautiful" there is an equally shaming comment coming at me "you're not that pretty".
I know people judge, but I don't expect to see women in business also emphasizing this concept. There are SO many tips and words of advice to give to people, like my self, you are trying to build a business. I would really rather not have someone reminding me the fact that my appearance is my worth because I truly believe it is not.
Currently, I am wearing a crop top, Athleta salutation capris, and sneakers. I am wearing no make up, hair is in a low bun and - sorry if this comes off braggy- I just sold a 6 week nutrition challenge to a gym that made me reach my "side hustle income" goals for the month.
And I did that after meeting with the business owner- another female entrepreneur- who at the time of our initial meeting was also wearing a workout tank tops and workout pants.
So here are two examples of women in business who are not giving a hoot about "looking formal" because there is a mutual respect and understanding that our value is worth way more than the formality of our outfits.
Another thing to note is that in the example, the woman was successful because she went to work on Saturdays. She worked hard, she worked more, she hustled and isn't that why she got promoted?
Mind you, this is a fake person I am talking about. This post was of cartoons and a "hypothetical situation" yet being judged on our appearance is such a reality for so many of us, but that doesn't mean its right.
Here's something that might shock the heck out of some people - just because its tradition doesn't make it right. I value many traditions, but judging women in the workplace because of their outfits?
THATS GONNA BE A NO FROM ME DAWG.
I am here to share with everyone reading this that your worth is NOT tied to your appearances and you can make money while wearing athleisure clothes. You can get the promotion, as long as you work hard.
There were so many parts about that post that I found offensive to women and definitely put me in a place of feeling bad about myself. That only lasted for a quick second because I realized- oh, thats a certain style of viewpoint and it has been proven countless times that when you work passionately towards your goals, you will reach them no matter if you are wearing Zella leggings and a bright blue flannel, or a Banana Republic dress from the outlets.
Not too long before this post came across my feed, I had shared a picture of myself on my Instagram wearing Zella leggings, a blue flannel, and no show socks. My comment was that I am sitting on my living room floor, wearing clearly what I feel is the most comfortable and will just clothe my body and in turn I will be productive.
So in this post I was addressing the quote "dress for the job you want not the job you have" in a satirical way.
Well what I want is to be able to work from home, create nutrition content that helps individuals and the masses make healthier and sustainable choices that benefit them and the planet.
I don't need to wear a "formal" outfit for this.
I want to travel and explore the world- you think I really need to be wearing stillettos and a cowl neck A- line to do that? Absolutely not.
Times are changing and, yeah, while some humans may pay me more because I remind them of a piece of eye candy, that is so NOT the environment or community I want to thrive in.
I am trying to live out my 100 year (if Im lucky) life wearing what I want, when I want, feeling how I want. Some days, like today , I'm feeling like I want to coach a couple hundred people on weight loss, then go crush a workout, write a follow up email to the gym owner and get us each excited for this amazing 6 week program her gym members get to experience!
I am sitting in my living room, Ingrid is on the floor and Belinda is....ohpe, I don't know. Probably sleeping on my bed which probably isn't made and that's okay :)
I also have a follow up with an amazing client of mine who is making some serious moves in her health and wellness AND career goals- all while wearing what she pleases.
My fiancé also got a significant a promotion and he says "I was probably the only candidate who sat in the interview wearing shorts.".
A few of my other tasks for the day?
Go to the grocery store
Buy some Califia Farms almond milk.
Make an incredible smoothie with my favorite protein powder, Vanilla Vega Sport.
These just so happen to be brands that I authentically love, and who will probably not see what I'm wearing (or care) when I am creating content for them to help educate people on proper nutrition and sustainability. All they probably care about is that I am being genuine.
The world is trying to be a better place. We need more women in the work force and in leadership positions and we will get there quicker without making statements about what women wear to "climb the corporate ladder".
Not to mention, the irony of it all is that the figure cartoon on the left side of the instagram post was wearing a shorter skirt and showing more skin. In all honesty, that woman probably DOES get the promotion, because we live in a male dominated business culture and...need I say more?
So that post was just triggering for me and overall I think that there are so MANY other business topics to cover and share with a large audience to help entrepreneurs be successful.
I'm going to share some of those right now:
BE AUTHENTICALLY YOU
- that was another thing that was conflicting about this specific instagram post.
So far , so many lessons I have learned from all types of entrepreneurs has been be you. Be authentically you. Well, authentically Monica is wearing workout clothes. She maybe dresses up but its still within the athliesure category. Being authentically you means wear whatever you want in order to feel comfortable.
I am clearly in a disagreement with an Instagram post. But none of the words I am slinging together to write this post are a reflection of how I feel about the person who created it. I enjoy the person who created it, the person creates content that 9/10 times benefits us. That 1 time our of 10 though deserves some critical analysis and I am doing so here, publicly, but not before I did so privately.
Write down your goals
If your goal is to gain 1500 followers, write it down. If your goal is to gain 3 pounds of muscle, write it down. If your goal is to buy a $650 Versace dress to wear to a keynote speaking event then write that shiz down.
Don't waste time scrutinizing your outfit when you could be putting mental effort and energy into your goals, on paper and in action!
Do the work
You gotta put in the work and the time. I believe you can will things into manifestation. You cannot control what manifests but you can control what you will. When you start thinking this way, you start acting this way. When you start acting this way- things happen, but you gotta do that work and it might mean sacrificing some "free" time.
But there is no such thing as "free time"
I am awful at this. I am constantly striving to stay focused, it's kind of like staying organized. I am great at being focused-when I am, and I am great at organizing, when I do it. My issue is I rarely stay in those spaces. I bounce along the spectrum, so if you can practice elements of staying focused- you'll be much better off!